Winter Park Goodwill Boutique (6.25)

Winter Park's Goodwill happens to be a "boutique." And yes, that basically means that the items are a but nicer and quite a bit more expensive, but still cheaper than shopping for new clothes.

I'm going to apologize now for the quality of photos in this store. I think I temporarily went blind...

I feel like my mom had boots like this in our closet for years...never warn...

"THIS IS HALLOWEEN!" (My favorite holiday).

Did someone say, "Cher from Clueless?" This metallic silver backpack is SO 90s!

This is like...the fancy, Bedazzled, skirt version of what I like to call, "The (Michelle) Duggar dress." The "Duggar Dress" is something you find in EVERY thrift store across the nation. There are tons of them, they don't look good on anyone, because despite always having an elastic waist, they take away any and all shape (or even the thought of a shape) that a woman's body might have. However, if you haven't changed your haircut since the early 90s, why should you change your clothes?  

There was not one, not two, but THREE of these. I couldn't help but imagine some sort of blonde, triplet, country act wearing these. A trio that Pee Wee might have had sing, hoola hoop, contort and mouth harp their way to fame, with big wigs and big breasts. Call 'em, "Three Busty Blondes." (Oh yeah, and each of their names would begin with the same letter of the alphabet. Perhaps, Betsy, Bunny and Barbara.) 

As a former plus-sized woman I'm allowed to say that this looked like a bedazzled, teal garbage bag for queens. 

"Gem sweater dresses." 

"I'll take, 'Things I didn't know exist" for $500 Alex!"

From Bratz to Harry Potter. Someone could have quite the unusual snow globe collection. 

These are everywhere. Part of me wants to fill a room with them.

I shall serve my cardamom chai from this. I shall eat dates and be fanned by bronze skinned Adonises, who I find wholly unappealing, but know how to fan a reclining woman. 

Damn teapot is giving me a toothache. 

Suddenly all dishes served are now, "pretty."

I like the inversion of the form. 

This military jacket makes me sad that I donated mine. Mine was in better condition, but it didn't have the braid, I love that!

"Thank you for being a friennnnnd!"

Tempting. 

Very tempting...but perhaps too boho or...ethnic...because people are stupid.

My WTF for this visit is only confusing because it never occurred to me that such an item would have been mass produced:

A "Fiddler on the Roof" figurine... Who bought this? Did they keep it til death, or did they decide that it was no longer something that they wanted? So many questions!